If you’re concerned about someone’s weight loss or eating behaviour, you may be experiencing a variety of things.  You may be confused about what is going on, particularly if it hasn’t been possible for you and the person you’re concerned about to speak openly together about this issue. You may be worried about their present and perhaps also their future well-being.   You may be feeling helpless.   You may even be feeling guilty, if you believe you could have prevented the problem from arising.

Having clear information about eating and body image issues can be very helpful in this situation, both for you and for the person you are concerned about.   For you, there are three important pieces of information which form a context for any others:

• you are not to blame.  All eating and body image issues start from and are perpetuated by multiple factors, not just one.  And no one of these factors is guaranteed to lead to eating and body image issues:  there are other people who have experienced similar situations and have not developed eating and body image issues.

• you can be very helpful in supporting and speeding up that person’s recovery, particularly if you are able to offer them more, or more long-term, support than any professionals they are involved with.

• in that process, you are likely to need your own support.  At present Freedom with Food doesn’t offer services to carers (this means anyone who cares about) someone with an eating or body image issues.   Here are some other possibilities:
  • find a carers’ support group near you.   To see if there is one in your area, contact the nearest Eating Disorders service run by the DHB.  If there isn’t a carers’ support group near you, consider setting one up yourself.
  • find someone who can offer you regular support.  This could be someone who offers therapeutic help like a counsellor, or it could be a friend who is a good listener and who is able and willing to give you regular opportunities to talk about the situation.
  • find reliable sources of further information about eating and body image issues and about how carers can help.  These sources can be information leaflets from specialist organisations, webpages, or books.  If you find books helpful,  here is an initial suggestion: Skills-based Learning for Caring for a Loved One with an Eating Disorder: The New Maudsley Method by Janet Treasure, Gráinne Smith, and Anna Crane (2007)   UK